


Oh, Marceline!

by kataangfanficer



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: Bath Houses, Bathing/Washing, Bathtubs, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Ejaculate, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, For Science!, Forced Ejaculation, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Lesbian Sex, Lust, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Panties, Penis Measuring, Penis Size, Penises, Rape/Non-con Elements, Seduction, Small Penis, Surprise Kissing, Uncircumcised Penis, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2017-12-27 17:21:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kataangfanficer/pseuds/kataangfanficer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Princess Bubblegum and Marceline develop an awkward relationship.</p><p>Originally written in 2010 and 2011.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Sexy Vampire Lady

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

Princess Bubblegum and Marceline had finally met for the first time, but Finn was late to their little get together. They were supposed to meet in the princess's bedchamber, but only Marceline had shown up. She had invited herself in by flying through the window, which annoyed the princess. And after they had exchanged greetings, the two girls waited in an awkward silence for Finn to show up. Until Princess Bubblegum suddenly broke the silence.

"What are you staring at?" asked Princess Bubblegum.

"That tasty ass of yours," replied Marceline with a mischievous look on her face.

"My WHAT?"

"Calm down, PB. It was a compliment. I thought you'd be used to it. Doesn't Finn ever let you know how nice your little bubble butt is?"

"Of course not! What is wrong with you?" Princess Bubblegum screamed with sudden anger and disgust.

"Hm. I guess you're right. That doesn't seem like Finn. He's such a noble little guy."

"I don't know why he would ever spend time with someone like you," the princess said with her arms crossed and her back turned.

"Well he obviously has a fine taste in women," Marceline said slyly as she eyed Princess Bubblegum's ass.

"Finn isn't like that!"

"Oh really?" the Vampire Queen said as she floated over to the princess. "There has to be some reason he just happens to hang out with someone like you and someone like me."

"Finn has a lot of friends…" Princess Bubblegum retorted.

"Yeah. But he seems particularly interested in us."

Marceline floated in front of Princess Bubblegum and cocked an eyebrow.

"So have you seen his dick?" the vampire asked without warning.

"What?" Princess Bubblegum shrieked in shock.

"Was it big?"

"Wha—?"

"I bet it was!" Marceline said with a grin.

"Get out!" yelled the Princess with her finger pointing at the vampire. "Get out! Get out! GET OUT!"

"You really need to learn how to relax, babe," Marceline yawned as she laid herself gently on the princess's bed. She lay down with her knees bent towards the ceiling, and she placed her hands behind her head.

The princess turned around and glared at the intruder in her bed. She stood with her hands on her hips, and her faced was red with annoyance; she growled and waited for Marceline to get up.

Marceline sighed and lifted her head, and she could see Princess Bubblegum's pissed expression from between her legs. She pulled her legs further apart to get a better look at her, and she laughed at the princess's attitude.

"Are you starin' at my chick package, PB?" she laughed warmly.

"Your…what?" Princess Bubblegum asked with a sudden new look of confusion on her face.

"My chick package," repeated as she tugged at her crotch.

Princess Bubblegum looked down slowly and gulped as Marceline's bulge caught her eye. The jeans that Marceline was wearing hugged her figure so well that her lips created a fairly large bulge between her legs, and Princess Bubblegum could almost make out where the slit was. She had never seen such an erotic display before, and it actually made her blush, which gave Marceline the wrong idea.

"You're just…just…" Princess Bubblegum stammered with frustration.

"Hot? I know," Marceline laughed.

"Be quiet! That is not what I was going to say!" the princess said as she stomped her foot. She was quite cute when she was angry, and Marceline enjoyed it.

"But that's what you were thinking, my precious little PB. I can see how red you got when you were checking out my chick package."

"Stop saying that!" the princess commanded.

"What? Chick package?" giggled the vampire. "What should I say instead? Vagina? Pussy? Cunt? Beaver? Vampire Pie?"

Princess Bubblegum's face grew redder and redder with fury and embarrassment as Marceline continued to list every vulgar word for vagina she could think of.

"Just stop it! Please!" the princess cried as she closed her eyes tight and covered her ears.

"Aww. I'm sorry, PB," Marceline said with genuine concern. "I shouldn't have teased you. That wasn't cool of me. If you really wanna look, that's fine with me. I'll just shut up and show you."

The vampire queen kicked her boots off at the base of the bed and shuffled her legs back and forth until her jeans came off. She slid her black panties down her leg and flicked it off of her foot, and it landed perfectly on Princess Bubblegum's tiara. The vampire laughed at the sight. However, Marceline suddenly felt more exposed and uncomfortable than she thought she would be, but she kept her legs spread for the princess despite her unexpected modesty. But she quickly realized she didn't even have an audience.

The sweet little princess still had her eyes clenched shut, and her delicate hands were firmly pressed against her ears. She was gently shaking her head back and forth, and she was completely unaware of what had just happened.

Marceline sighed and picked up one of her boots; she laid back down on the bed and gently tossed the boot at the princess. It hit her elbow and jolted her out of her frantic behavior.

She opened her eyes and saw the black panties dangling in front of her face.

"Wha…what is…EW! Ew ew ew!" she squeaked as she flung the panties onto the floor. "What the cabbage, Marceline!" she yelled trying not to stare at the lower half of the vampire's body.

"I thought you were checking me out, but I guess not…" Marceline said quietly.

"What gave you that idea?"

"You were staring at my—"

"Don't say it." the princess snarled.

"…my private area."

"Well I wasn't," Princess Bubblegum sighed. "And even if I was…you really shouldn't act so…weird. Why would you jump to conclusions so quickly?"

Marceline was quite emotionally fragile, and she realized she had made a stupidly obvious mistake. She had somehow gotten it into her head that the princess was actually interested in her and that her teasing had simply embarrassed the poor girl. Marceline blushed and turned away from the princess as she sat up and pulled her legs to her chest. The shamed vampire drooped her head, and her pitch black hair draped over her slender legs.

"I'm such an idiot," she whispered angrily to herself.

Princess Bubblegum was too kindhearted to stay angry for so long, especially when she saw someone that needed cheering up.

"Don't say that," she said gently.

"You don't have to pretend like you like me, princess," Marceline groaned. "I'm sorry I pissed you off and freaked you out, and we've barely even been in the same room for ten minutes."

"Well I should apologize for being so impatient with you. I suppose I'm just not used to people being so…blunt with me."

"Sorry for saying that stuff about you and Finn. I was just joking around, but I was probably acting like a real bitch. I know you guys are just friends or whatever, and that's cool," Marceline said as she began to calm down and slowly put her pants back on.

"It's alright. And I suppose I should be flattered by your…uh…advances, and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

"Don't worry about it, PB," the vampire said casually. She was coming out of her little embarrassed slump, and she was quick to start using her nickname for the princess again. "I should learn to behave myself around royalty; you're one classy little lady. I should have known you weren't really checking me out. I guess I just let my imagination run away with me. Sorry about that," she said as she put on her boots.

"Apology accepted."

"Well, I think I'm going to get going. Finn is taking his sweet time getting here, and I have things to do. Besides, I think I've stressed you out enough," she chuckled and floated towards the window.

"Please don't feel like I'm throwing you out," the princess said with concern. Her royal sense of hospitality and genuine sweetness had completely taken over.

"Nope. I'm throwing myself out," the vampire said with a smile. "Seeya, PB."

The princess waved daintily as the vampire queen flew out the window, but she suddenly noticed something on the floor.

"Wait! Marceline! You forgot these!" she called out as she waved the vampire's black panties out the window to get her attention.

"Keep them!" Marceline shouted back. "As a gift from me! BLEH!" she giggled as she stuck her forked tongue out and flew away.


	2. Why You So Mean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marceline spies on Princess Bubblegum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

A few weeks had passed, and Princess Bubblegum thought he she had seen the last of Marceline. At least for a while… But as soon as she finally started to forget their previous encounter, the sexy vampire lady appeared on her windowsill. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she was wearing torn jeans and a striped shirt.

“Sup, BP?” she said casually.

“Oh. It’s you,” groaned the princess. “What do you want?”

Before she had time to react, Marceline floated over to the other side of the room and was going through the princess’ drawers.

“Stop that! Stop!” the princess squealed.

“Where are they?” asked Marceline.

“Where are what?”

“My panties. Where are you hiding them? It looks like you didn’t put them up on your wall on display, and they aren’t in any of your drawers… I know!”

She quickly jumped onto Princess Bubblegum’s bed and rummaged through her many pillows. She threw them over her shoulders; one hit the princess directly in the face.

“Are you still this rude?!” she shrieked as the pillow landed on the floor.

“You’re the one who threw away my gift!” Marceline answered after finishing with the pillows.

“I did not!”

“Then where are they?”

“In here,” the princess replied. 

She walked over to a small chest and unlocked it. Marceline smiled as the pink cutie presented the black panties. When the vampire took them in her hands, she gave them a quick sniff.

“You’re…disgusting,” said Bubblegum with a cringe.

“Says the girl who keeps dirty panties locked up in special chests,” teased the vampire.

“I wanted to make sure you got them back, and I didn’t want anyone to find them…”

“Why didn’t you just give them to Finn? We see each other all the time.”

“Are you joking?! That would have been…awkward,” the princess grumbled.

“You could have at least washed them, you perv.” Marceline stretched her panties and stared at Bubblegum through one of the leg holes.

“Like I would let my servants see a strange pair of panties with my laundry…”

“Hm. I see you’ve prepared some nice excuses. That’s kinda cute, PB. But you don’t have to lie to me. I’m flattered that you kept them in such a special place. I just never took you for a panty sniffer.”

“What?! You…you…” Bubblegum stuttered. Her adorable, yet slightly scary, temper was flaring up again.

“So I was right. You were checking me out last time. Well, here I am. Let’s make this happen!”

Marceline got back onto the bed and bent over with her ass sticking out towards the princess.

“Take me, my lady,” she said dramatically. 

“Marceline. No.” Princess Bubblegum said sternly. “Please just leave. I’m not in the mood. I know you’re just trying to have fun and that you have…feelings for me, but could you please just stop.”

“Well how can I say no to that. Sorry, PB. I’ll try to control my urges,” she said with a wink. “And I’m sorry that I was such a freak last time too. I usually try not to get so moody in front of friends. It was just that time of the month,” Marceline chuckled.

Princess Bubblegum just sighed. She could tell that Marceline was just as mischievous as always and wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

“Haha! You look so peeved!” laughed Marceline. “I was just joking. I don’t even bleed down there anymore anyway. Can you imagine if I did?! I’d be sucking my own pussy like crazy!” 

Princess Bubble kept her arms crossed and stared at the vampire sternly. “What happened to being sorry?”

“I’m not seducing you anymore, am I?”

“Why are you really here, Marceline?”

“Well it certainly wasn’t to find my panties,” she laughed. “That was just something I remembered on my way over here. I actually stopped by because I wanted to ask you about Finn’s birthday party.”

“What about it…?” asked the princess with suspicion.

“What’s that look for? I just wanted to know what you think I should get him. That’s all. You’ve known him longer than I have, and I suck at picking presents.”

“Somehow I doubt it’s that simple, but I suppose I could help you brainstorm. It’s for Finn afterall. But I’m going to be late for a royal meeting if I don’t get ready soon. You interrupted me, and I’ve already wasted enough time talking to you. We shall continue this discussion later tonight.”

“Thanks, PB. So what are you getting him,” she said as she nudged the princess playfully.

“I already said I’m late, and I still need to take a bath.”

“Well your tub is right over there,” Marceline said as she pointed to Bubblegum’s cute little bathroom. “Why you’d better hop in now.”

“The plumbing is broken. I have to use the royal bathhouse today.”

The princess was in too much of a hurry to realize the mistake she just made.

“Alright, PB. I guess we’ll talk later.”

Marceline floated out the window and waited until Bubblegum thought she was alone, then the crafty vampire changed into a bat and followed her. Princess Bubblegum went to her private bathhouse as fast as she could without tripping over her dress; Marceline was surprised to see there weren’t any guards positioned near the large bathhouse. It was quite a large room with a high ceiling, and a circular bath was at the very center of the pink floor. Before Marceline could follow her, Princess Bubblegum went into a closet-like room to undress and get a towel.

Marceline changed back to her normal form and clung the far corner of the ceiling where she wouldn’t be noticed and waited patiently for her friend to come out. When she finally came out, Marceline was annoyed by the towel covering her body. Even when she thought she was alone, Bubblegum had a natural sense of modesty.

Marceline stared greedily as her pink friend finally took off her towel, and Marceline’s hand quickly slid down her tight jeans. The princess had a great body; it was petite but curvy enough to satisfy the horny vampire. She rubbed her clit gently as she examined each curve from afar. Bubblegum’s tits weren’t very big, but Marceline could tell that they would fit in her hands very nicely. The pink mounds bounced as the princess walked into the tub; Marceline leaned in to get a better look and nearly lost her balance.

“Now there’s a present for our little hero,” Marceline thought to herself as she suddenly remembered Finn. “He’s gotta see—” But before she could even finish her thought, she saw the sexiest thing in her long vampire life.

“DAT ASS!” she suddenly screamed. The princess’s ass protruded nicely, and it was perfectly round. It looked like there was even a little glossy shine on it. But Marceline didn’t get a very long look. Bubblegum had heard her sudden outburst.

“Oh shit…” Marceline sighed as she pressed her hand to her forehead and slid down all the way down to the floor. 

And there was Princess Bubblegum, completely naked with a frozen look of shock, disgust, and fury on her pink face.

“H-h-hey, PB,” stuttered Marceline. “Babe…homey…friend. What’s going on?” She smiled wide and giggled between her fangs.

“YOU. ARE. DEAD.”

Bubblegum suddenly jumped out of the tub like a wild animal and pounced on Marceline, who was too shocked to do anything about it. The naked princess grabbed Marceline by the neck with both hands and slammed her against the wall mercilessly. Her breathing was turned into furious pants as her chest heaved dramatically, and her wet hands locked themselves around the vampire’s neck. Bubblegum’s eyes were wide open, and she shook with a chaotic rage.

But all Marceline could do was laugh.

“My, my, my,” she squeaked through her crushed throat. “Where’d that come from? I know I violated your space and all that…but wow. You’ve got some real fight in you. Now I know why you don’t need guards for this place. You can certainly handle yourself, PB. You go girl!”

Just as Bubblegum was about to let her go, Marceline grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss. It only lasted a couple seconds before the princess escaped her clutches, but it was long enough for the sneaky vampire to slide her forked tongue into her friend’s mouth.

Princess Bubblegum shrieked and let Marceline drop back to the floor. The animalistic rage left her pretty face, and it was replaced by embarrassment. She was simply too shocked to be mad now.

“What is wrong with you, Marceline?” she said with surprising calmness.

“Uh huh…” Marceline replied.

“Are you even listening to me?!” Bubblegum yelled.

“Sweety, I don’t really care what those lips have to say. These are the only lips I care about right now.”

“WHAT?! Stop staring!”

“Alright fine…but I can still touch, right?” Marceline said slyly as she cupped her friend’s smooth pussy.

Princess Bubblegum was speechless; all she could do was shiver. Marceline laughed as she began to rub her thumb around her bright pink clit.

“You’re not resisting, PB,” she said eagerly. “And you’re wet…”

“I was taking a bath!” the princess quickly retorted.

“You’re still not resisting…” Marceline replied as she continued to massage between Bubblegum’s legs. Her skin was nice and soft; Marceline was very gentle with the gummy flesh.

“I…I…don’t…”

“So why aren’t you?” Marceline teased.

“Because…because…”

“Because why?”

“Because…” Bubblegum groaned.

Marceline gently pressed her lips between Bubblegum’s legs and started to pleasure the sweet girl with her tongue. Her sweet flavor was intoxicating.

“Because…” Bubblegum continued.

“Bepwause ip feews goob?” mumbled the vampire as she tried to talk with her mouth latched onto Bubblegum’s pussy.

“…what?”

“Because it feels good,” Marceline said again after pulling back from between her friend’s legs. “And do you know what else feels good? Being naked!” 

As she said this, she quickly pulled off her jeans and shirt. When she was in nothing but she black underwear, which didn’t do much to cover her, she laid herself on her back and spread her legs.

“We’re back to where we started, PB,” she sighed. “Me on my back showing off my goods, and you feeling all awkward and confused. You hurt my feelings last time, missy. Why don’t we spare ourselves all of the drama and just get on with it. I know you want to fuck, so let’s fuck.”


	3. What the Cabbage?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marceline continues to tease Princess Bubblegum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

“Marceline…I’m not attracted to you. I think you’re having a hard time getting that stuck in your noggin,” Princess Bubblegum sighed with annoyance.

“And yet you seem to enjoy it when I munch on your bubblegum pussy,” Marceline replied. “I can you see through your lies, PB. Don’t be shy. We’re just two chicks enjoying each other’s company.”

“But I don’t enjoy your company…”

“Ouch. Your sincerity stings, PB.”

“I’m sorry, but I think I’ve been making that pretty clear for a while now,” the princess said as she slowly walked back to the tub. She hoped this would help signify the conversation was over, and maybe Marceline would finally respect her wishes and leave her alone. But the view she gave her destroyed any chances of that.

Marceline smiled and followed Bubblegum over to the tub. She floated above the warm water and watched the pink girl submerge herself. The princess avoided looking at the conniving vampire, but Marceline refused to give up. 

“Well if we’re not going to get busy, the least you could do is let me join you.”

Princess Bubblegum kept her eyes averted and ignored her completely.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Don’t look,” Marceline said slyly.

As she began to take off her bra, she noticed Bubblegum’s eyes lurk over to her. Whether it was out of lust or simple curiosity, Marceline didn’t care. She had the girl’s attention, and that’s all that mattered to her.

“You better not be looking, PB,” she said playfully. “I wouldn’t want you to see my tits. Wouldn’t that be so embarrassing?” As she said this, her breasts sprung from her tight black bra and jiggled. They were larger than the princess’s, and they sagged slightly. Each soft mound was peaked with a dark grey nipple, which were noticeably erect.

“It sure would be terrible if you could see my big ol’ tits,” Marceline teased while she squeezed them playfully. “And don’t even think of watching me take off my panties, you perv.” She continued to pretend she didn’t know the princess was taking a peak. “This is just too embarrassing. I can’t even face you while I do it. You’ll have to promise not to look.”

The vampire turned around and had her back facing the princess. She stuck her ass out and slowly pulled her panties over the round surface and down her legs. Bubblegum had had her arms crossed and her head turned in defiance, but now her entire body had copied what her eyes had done and was now facing the naked hottie. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she couldn’t take her eyes off of Marceline’s round cheeks. Even her wet slit and tiny asshole kept the princess’s attention, and they weren’t as nasty as she had expected.

Marceline finally straightened her back and turned around to face Bubblegum again, and she caught her before she had a chance to hide her ogling.

“Like what you see?” Marceline asked as she cupped her breasts and winked. “You can’t have these panties by the way.”

“I’M NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!” Princess Bubblegum blurted out the only thing that popped into her head. She was so frustrated and embarrassed, and she was tired of Marceline’s games. Trying to be nice to her didn’t work, but getting angry hadn’t exactly cooled things down either. Her mind was turning to mush, and nothing made sense anymore.

“Okay okay,” Marceline laughed. “I was only teasing. There’s nothing wrong with an innocent peak at a friend’s fine ass, right?”

“Right,” Princess Bubblegum quickly replied without realizing everything she was implying. She was a nervous wreck, and Marceline was taking her on a rollercoaster ride of moodiness. Trying to get rid of Marceline without destroying her strangely fragile self-esteem, while trying to ignore her own naughty thoughts was making it hard for the princess to focus.

“Now we’re talking!” Marceline said with triumph as she plopped herself into the center of the tub. “But if you’re not attracted to me,” she said with a wink, “then we should do the girl thing to do and talk about someone you’re actually attracted to.”

“…what?”

“You know…girl talk: talking about boys and all that. I think I know who you have the hots for.”

“What?! Who?!” Bubblegum gasped, suddenly forgetting the awkwardness of being naked with Marceline.

“We’ve gone over this before, PB. You’re into our little birthday boy Finn, and you still haven’t told me how big his dick is. I can’t shake off the feeling you’ve seen it before. It’s time to spill the beans, girl!”

“I’ve never seen it!” she retorted desperately.

“I think I see how it is,” Marceline said as she put her arms behind her head and leaned against the side of the tub. “He’s got a tiny weewee, and you’re trying to protect his honor by keeping it a secret. That’s probably the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Where do you come up with this stuff, Marceline?”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. A secret between lovers is a sacred thing, even I can dig that.”

“Lovers?! We’re just friends!” Princess Bubblegum whined with annoyance. “We’ve gone over this too, Marceline. You know Finn better than that anyway…”

“I don’t know…sometimes I wonder about that little guy. He’s a 13 year old boy after all. Even the noblest of dudes can’t deny his urges for long. That reminds me…how old are you, PB?”

“18. Why?”

“Hehe. Don’t you think it’s a little perverted that you guys are gettin’ dirty together?” Marceline chuckled as she simulated sex with her index finger and her fist.

“But we AREN’T! And aren’t you really old anyway? Isn’t that—”

“Vampire years don’t count and don’t change the subject! I actually don’t have a problem with your kinky little relationship. Just don’t expect everyone else to be so understanding if they find out.”

“Whatever…” Princess Bubblegum had finally given up trying to argue with Marceline or even convince her of the truth.

“So back to his penis…” Marceline said in a very serious tone as if she were discussing politics or philosophy.

The princess simply raised an eyebrow. It was all she was willing to do at this point.

“I know. I know. You have his honor to protect, but I don’t think it really needs protecting. Hear me out on this, PB. He’s 13, right?”

“Right…” Bubblegum sighed.

“So that means he has plenty of time to grow a huge one. There’s no reason for him to be so embarrassed or for you to be so tight lipped about it. So he’s a 13 year old with a small dick. So what? Enjoy it while it lasts, hun. Who knows how long that thing will be able to fit inside you. Big cocks come with a price, you know. Be proud of your little hero’s little hero!”

Princess Bubblegum’s drained look of annoyance disappeared, and it was replaced by a goofy looking expression that Marceline couldn’t read. Her eyes were opened wide, and her mouth was scrunched up.

“Haha! What’s with that face, PB? Is that what you look like when you’re horny? Did all this cock talk get you going? Or did you have some sort of bubblegum stroke?”

The feisty vampire giggled as she crept over to the princess and poked her forehead. “Boop!” But she couldn’t get a single reaction from her. “Well I guess I’ll be doing all the talking. You can just listen and get your freak on. I don’t mind. A good girl talk needs a good listener anyway. So about Finn’s crotch area…does he have pubes? I’m only asking because I saw some of his hair once, and it was pretty sweet. I’m usually not into sparkly stuff, but that blondie is something else,” Marceline sighed with delight and tried to picture the boy’s beautiful golden hair. “So I guess what I want to know is whether the carpet matches the drapes.”

Bubblegum continued to stare with a blank look on her face. She could clearly hear every word of what Marceline was saying, but she showed no sign of responding.

“Come on, Bubblegum,” Marceline said while accidentally using the princess’s actual name. “Would it kill you to at least answer my questions? I’ve accepted that you aren’t going to contribute to this wonderful conversation, but a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would be nice.”

The princess just blinked.

Marceline squinted her eyes and stared back at her. “I’m actually curious about this, you know. I’m not just messing with you. It’s not fair to keep this to yourself.” Suddenly Marceline transformed herself into a black mass of tentacles; her large body cast a shadow over Princess Bubblegum. “Tell me the secret of the golden pubes, you wench!”

The princess didn’t even flinch.

Marceline quickly changed back to her normal form. “You’re starting to get boring, PB. You don’t mind if I masturbate, do you?” She rubbed her pussy for a couple of seconds and gave up. “Never mind… Hey! If you’re sticking to using the silent treatment, then you could at least draw something for me.”

Out of nowhere, Marceline pulled out a pencil and paper and presented them to her friend. The princess surprised her when she actually took them and started to draw something.

“You do know you’re supposed to be drawing Finn naked, right?” Marceline said with anticipation. “…or not. I don’t really care. Whatever you want, babe.”

Princess Bubblegum was hard at work. Marceline kept her distance and tried to wait patiently for the inevitable masterpiece.


	4. The Drawing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Bubblegum draws something for Marceline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

Princess Bubblegum finally finished her drawing and placed the pencil down on the edge of the tub. She stared at it with a satisfied look on her face.

“It’s nice to see your face looking less messed up, PB,” said Marceline. “I hope this means you’ve finally relaxed. You can get so moody over nothing.”

“I think this turned out rather well,” the princess said calmly. She blushed and examined her naughty drawing.

“She speaks!” Marceline said with a chuckle. “So let’s see this masterpiece, PB. Hand it over.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” the princess answered with a sudden sinister tone; she glared at the vampire from behind the sheet of paper.

“Yes I would.”

“I think you’d like it, Marceline,” Bubblegum said with a smirk. “It’s a perfect representation of Finn’s unique body structure. Everything is anatomically correct and to scale. This should be in a museum…”

“Oh really? Now I gotta see this!”

But to Marceline’s horror, Princess Bubblegum crumpled up the drawing and dunked it deep into the tub. The heartbroken vampire stood up in shock, but there was nothing she could do. Bubblegum had tempted her with the promise of Finn nudity and quickly dashed her hopes. The princess giggled to herself and watched Marceline sink into the tub in despair; her dark hair sunk beneath the steaming water.

Suddenly, bubbles began to float up to the water’s surface, and Marceline followed them with a large splash. She was laughing so hard that she fell over and created another splash that hit Princess Bubblegum in the face. When Marceline came back up, she had a strangely satisfied look on her face. The truth had finally smacked her in the face.

“You got me, PB. You got me. I get it,” she laughed. “You’ve never even seen him naked, have you?”

“Nope,” Princess Bubblegum giggled. Marceline’s good mood was becoming contagious.

“Well I sure feel stupid. What did you actually draw?”

“Me punching you in the face…”

They continued to laugh together until they couldn’t breathe. It had taken a while and a lot of mood swings, but the Bubblegum princess and the sexy vampire lady were finally getting along.


	5. The Little Hero's Little Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Bubblegum and Marceline spy on Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

It had taken a few weeks, but Marceline finally managed to convince Princess Bubblegum to go boy peeping with her. Their odd friendship had grown, and their mutual friendship with Finn helped move things along. He becoming more of a man everyday, which was enough of a reason for girls to be drooling over his naked body. Or at least that’s how Marceline put it. Princess Bubblegum pretended to be reluctant to go and said she was only interested “as a scientist,” even though it was quite clear that she had other motivations. When she had found some spare time, she and Marceline went over to spy on Finn.

“What kind of a weirdo has an entire room for a shower…and one with a window?” Marceline giggled. “Lucky for us though, right?”

“Didn’t you used to live here...?”

“Yeah. But I’m not the one who put in that fancy pancy shower. I guess those boys like to live in style, even if they’re living in a tree…”

Marceline pulled out a pair of binoculars that Princess Bubblegum had brought, and she waited for Finn to take his daily shower. They had found a nice little hill to sit on that was far enough away to avoid being seen but close enough to get a good look. The princess was lying flat on her stomach while Marceline sat under her shady umbrella. It didn’t take long for the little adventurer to burst in the door. The girls gasped softly to themselves and waited for the show. Marceline held the binoculars snuggly, and Princess Bubblegum strained her eyes and tried to see as best she could without them.

“Wow! His hair is even more impressive than I remembered,” Marceline exclaimed as Finn gracefully removed his hat. “It’s shorter than I remember though, but it still looks great.”

“Let me see,” begged the princess until Marceline handed her the binoculars. “Wow…I don’t think I’ve ever had such a clear view of his hair. It’s…magnificent!”

“Haha. Don’t start cumming now, PB. We still haven’t seen the main attraction. And I’ll be the one with the binoculars for the grand entrance, since you’re only here for science anyway.”

“Oh…um…of course,” the princess sighed and gave the binoculars back to her friend.

“Here it comes, baby!”

Finn jumped out of his clothing as if by magic, and he kicked them across the floor away from the shower head. He was completely naked. Marceline tried to keep her cool, but sexual restraint wasn’t one of her strong points. She drooled uncontrollably and let out a shivery sigh as she leaned forward. The wetness between her legs could almost be seen through her tight jeans.

“Let me tell ya, PB. I’ve seen hundreds of hotties in my day. Finn may not be the buffest or the biggest guy I’ve ever seen, but there’s just something so…special about seeing him like this.”

“It sounds like the big bad vampire is in love,” Princess Bubblegum teased.

“Hmph. Whatever. All I know is that I want a piece of that.”

“Does he um…have blond pubic hair?” the princess asked timidly.

“Ah! The first scientific inquiry! I was waiting for you to get interested.”

“Well…?”

“Let me check. Nope. We’ve got ourselves a baldy. He either shaves down there or just hasn’t grown any yet.”

“According to my research,” said the princess, “he probably grew pubic hair when he’s about 12 years old.”

“So he’s had two years to grow wonderful golden pubes, and he just shaved them off? Well that’s a letdown.”

“So…how does the rest look, Marceline?”

“Why don’t you look for yourself? Here take these.”

“No. I’m alright...”

“If you say so, PB,” Marceline said with a wink. “Well he’s a little more plump than I usually like, but it’s a cute kind of plump. And his shoulders look broader somehow when he’s naked, which is pretty sweet.” She paused for a few seconds to take it all in.

“Go on…” the princess said while trying to hide her impatience.

“He’s got a tight little ass. It’s just begging for a spanking,” Marceline said with an evil grin. “What really impresses me is his confidence. I know he thinks he’s alone…but damn! He’s struttin’ around that shower like a pro.”

Princess Bubblegum squinted her eyes and placed her hand on her forehead to block the sunlight; she could just barely see Finn washing himself through the large window.

Suddenly Marceline started to laugh to herself.

“What’s so funny?” asked Bubblegum.

“For a second I thought he had a third nipple, but it just turned out to be a zit.”

“How does his penis look?” the princess finally ventured to ask. “Does it look…um…healthy?”

“I don’t want to sound cruel, but there’s not much to see. It sure is a tiny little thing but not in a bad way. I guess… There’s a certain charm to it. It’s like a cute little worm or something.” The vampire stuck out her finger and wiggled it around while making a weird “doolooolololoooloolooo” sound with her tongue. She even managed to get the princess to laugh, who had been getting more and more anxious.

“So he isn’t erect?”

“I’d feel bad for him if he was,” Marceline laughed. “Because like I said, that thing is on the tiny side. Why don’t you burst in there, PB? That should get that little willy going.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Bubblegum answered calmly, trying not to get upset over Marceline’s playful suggestion.

“Why not?”

“I read that physical or visual stimulation isn’t required for a boy to get an erection. Erections are natural things that can occur in any situation. It all has to do with the blood flow—”

“Okay. Okay,” Marceline chuckled. “I get it. So what about cum? Will he need any stimulation to give us a chance to see the white stuff?”

“I thought you were experienced, Marceline. Surely you know about semen and ejaculations.”

“Of course I do,” Marceline said with a hint of annoyance. “You just seem to know a few details I wasn’t sure about, like boys being able to magically get hard for no reason.”

“Well to answer your question, no. Although I’ve read that it is possible, I doubt Finn can ejaculate without direct stimulation.”

“So in other words…unless he starts jerking it, we’re out of luck.”

“Precisely.”

“Oh well. Let’s hope for the best,” said Marceline.

“Did you get a good look at his—”

“Hold on, girl,” laughed Marceline. “Don’t rush me.”

Princess Bubblegum shut her mouth and waited patiently, and she noticed that one of Marceline’s hands had snuck down into her jeans.

“C’mon! Jump around, Finny! Let’s see those balls bounce!” Marceline said with glee.

“Testicles.”

“What…?”

“They’re called testicles. If you’re going to obsess over something, you should at least know the proper term.”

“You’re such a nerd, PB.”

“And you’re a pervert,” Bubblegum teased back.

“Well you’re just as guilty. You’re the one that brought the binoculars.”

“I’m only interested in the unique anatomy of humans. They’re very rare, you know.”

“Unique?” Marceline laughed. “If you haven’t noticed, Finn doesn’t look that different from you or me. Except he’s not dead or made of bubblegum.”

“Clearly you just don’t understand—”

“You just want to see his hot bod!” 

“You think you have everything figured out, Marceline,” said Bubblegum as she shook her head.

“Because I do,” Marceline answered with a smile.

“But you were wrong about me and Finn…”

“Well I’m right about this.”

“No you aren’t.”

“I guess I’ll just have to enjoy this delicious sight all by myself,” Marceline sighed.

“But they’re my binoculars! Give them back!”

“Not until you admit why you really want to check out Finn. No more of that science and anatomy crap,” Marceline said while her eyes were still glued to the binoculars.

“But that is the real—”

“Oh wow! I think he’s finally getting hard!”

“Gimme those!” Princess Bubblegum screamed as she yanked the binoculars from Marceline and quickly pressed them to her face.

Sure enough, Finn’s penis had become fully erect. It stuck out proudly as the young adventurer continued to wash his golden hair.

“It’s beautiful!” the princess gasped. “The foreskin pulls back perfectly, and the glans looks very healthy! The shaft appears to be protruding at a 65 degree angle from the stomach and may be anywhere from 10 to 12 centimeters long!”

“Damn, PB… You’re really into this.”

“How big was it when it was flaccid?” Bubblegum said in a surprisingly demanding tone.

“What?”

“How small was it before he got hard?! Two centimeters? Three centimeters? I need to know!” Bubblegum said with frustration.

“Um…I don’t know. It was…small. How should I know the exact length?”

“You’re useless, Marceline. I suppose I’ll just have to keep an eye on it until it returns to its relaxed state to make a proper comparison. “Small” isn’t exactly the most precise measurement to go by.”

“But I wanted another chance to look,” Marceline pouted.

“You can look again when I’ve got the data I need.”

Behind all of the measurements and technical terms, Marceline could tell the princess was actually enjoying herself. Seeing her blush and smile every few seconds was more than enough to give her away.

“Soooooooo,” Marceline said to break the silence. “He’s got a nice one doesn’t he?” She smiled and nudged the princess.

“Yes he does.”

“Have you checked out his ass, yet? It’s pretty cute. If you’re into that kind of thing.”

As if on cue, Finn turned around and gave Princess Bubblegum a perfect view. “Oh my! It certainly looks very…nice.” The princess was becoming too distracted to provide a proper description for the shapely little butt.

“Haha! I think we’ve got ourselves an ass fan here,” Marceline laughed. “I’m the same way, PB. But I’d take your bubble butt over Finn’s any day.” As she said this, she gave it a good smack. She quickly realized that that wasn’t the best idea, but luckily Princess Bubblegum was too enthralled by Finn’s body to notice. 

Feeling the mood starting to change, Marceline slowly took her pants off and began to casually rub her clit through her panties.

“This is the life, PB.”


	6. Sex vs Science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

“This is a bad idea…” Princess Bubblegum whispered.

“We can’t back out now,” Marceline shot back. “Everything has lined up perfectly for us so far. I’m not going to let your foo foo attitude get in the way. You’re the one that wants “the sample” so bad anyway.”

“But…”

“The only butt I’m interested in right now is Finn’s, so chill out, PB!”

It had been over a month since the friends had peeked on Finn and got a look at his wonderful extremities, and they had conceived a masterful plan to get a certain sample for the Princess’s private experiments. All they had to do was break into Finn and Jake’s house, which turned out to be incredibly easy. The hard part was waiting for the right circumstances. They finally found a day when Jake was going to be away at Lady Rainicorn’s house for fun rainicorn festivities, so they wouldn’t have to deal with him. Marceline and Bubblegum also needed to find a way to extract the sample from Finn without him knowing. They thought of just waiting until he went to bed, but Princess Bubblegum didn’t want to take any chances. So she concocted a special sleeping potion that would put him in a super deep sleep during his normal bedtime, and she slipped it into his drink while they were hanging out earlier in the day. Everything was in place, expect for Princess Bubblegum’s nerves…

“You’re starting to take the fun out of this.” groaned Marceline.

“Science isn’t always fun,” Bubblegum said in her defense while putting on a pair of dorky goggles. “Science requires discipline.”

“SEX!” Marceline shrieked in frustration.

“…what?”

“This isn’t about science, and you know it. It’s about sex!”

“Can’t we come to a compromise and say it’s about both?” the princess answered with calm maturity.

“Fine. Let’s just get on with it. I’m craving some Finn ass.”

“Alright. You can prepare him while I prepare the machine.”

“Oh I’ll prepare him alright,” the vampire said with a grin.

Marceline pulled Finn’s blankets off of him and slowly removed his jammies; the gravity of the situation didn’t hit her until the adventurer’s jiggly boyhood came into view. After staring at it with a goofy look on her face, Marceline was suddenly broken out of her trance by her sciency friend.

“Wait!” shouted Bubblegum as she quickly put on a pair of white rubber gloves.

As if by magic, the princess pulled out a measuring tape and indulged in her curiosity.

“Aha! Finn the human’s penis shaft is exactly 5.3 centimeters long when flaccid!” she cried out as if she were creating a mental log of her finding.

Marceline put her hands up to her mouth and mimicked the cheers of a massive audience. “Pretty exciting stuff, PB,” she chuckled.

“Now I just need a measurement of it when it’s erect, and I can get back to preparing my machine.”

“Allow me.”

Princess Bubblegum watched as Marceline draped herself on top of Finn and clutched his adorable face with uncharacteristic tenderness. She slowly removed his hat to reveal his golden hair and leaned in to kiss the sleepy adventurer. Her lips pressed into his with a wet squeaky sound, and she began to grind her hips against Finn’s naked body to match the intimacy of the kiss. Princess Bubblegum blushed at Marceline’s unapologetic behavior, and she caught herself enjoying the vampire’s curves as much as she admired Finn’s naked body. Her round ass rocked back and forth as she tried to coax a reaction from Finn’s sleepy lower half, and her jeans seemed to be even tighter than usual.

“Come on, Finn,” Marceline moaned seductively. “Get hard for little ol’ Marcey. Don’t you like being dominated?”

Marceline pinched Finn’s cheeks to make it look like he was talking back, and she did her best impression of him. “Oh yes, Marceline! I’d let you ride me anytime!”

“Spank me, baby!” Marceline screamed overdramatically as she grabbed Finn’s limp arm and spanked herself with it. She finally lost it and rolled off the bed laughing; she never had a hard time getting a kick out of her own antics.

“I’m starting to realize how weird this really is…” Princess Bubblegum muttered as she finished the rest of her preparations.

“It’s only as weird as you make it, PB.”

“Correction. It’s as weird as YOU make it…”

“Well you can turn back now if you want, or you could turn around and see the results of my handiwork.”

Princess Bubblegum did just that, and she immediately went for her measuring tape again without taking her eyes off of Finn.

“13.7 centimeters?!” she gasped. “He’s even larger than I had guessed…”

“Ready for some science, PB?”

“…oh right. Science!”

The princess managed to pull herself away from her naked little hero and grab her machine.

“So how exactly does this thing work…?” Marceline asked with genuine concern as she eyed the intimidating device.

“Simple! Finn’s penis goes into this clear nozzle—”

“Proof!” Marceline said with excitement.

“Excuse me?”

“Why else would you make that part clear if you were only interested in the science?”

“…well, because…”

“Bonnibel wants to keep an eye on the prize!” she said with a wink.

“No… It’s just that I need to make sure nothing is going wrong, so I need to be able to see inside of it.”

“Whatever. So what’s the next step, Miss Science?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Princess Bubblegum answered after clearing her throat. “The next step is also quite simple. I just press this button, and the extraction begins.”

“So Finn’s love juices go through the tube and into this tank?” Marceline said while she poked the hollow container.

“Precisely. Except for the whole “love juices” part. It’s called semen, Marceline. Semen. Love has nothing to do with it.”

“I don’t know, Bonni. I’ve shown quite a few guys some lovin’ in my day, and they’ve all returned the favor in their special way. Sometimes more than once.”

“...First of all, I’m not interested in your sexual escapades, Marceline. And second, that was most likely lust, not love. Therefore, your claim remains irrelevant. Love and semen are completely unrelated.”

“How can you say that? I’ve seen that look in your eye when you look at Finn. If you guys got a little cozy and got Finn to make a mess on you, I’d say that would count as love.”

Princess Bubblegum simply blushed and avoided eye contact with her relentless friend.

“You know I’m right,” said Marceline.

“You can’t use hypothetical situations as proof. And even if something like that happened…the presence of love wouldn’t have been what brought about the semen. It would have been the prolonged stimulation of the penis by the vagina or the tongue.”

“…tongue? So you’re putting a blowjob into this little hypothetical situation?” Marceline said mischievously.

“I didn’t say tongue!”

“Yes you did.”

“Enough! It’s time for science!” the princess shouted with a hint of madness in her normally sweet voice.

She pressed the button with vigor to change the subject, and soon she and Marceline heard the intense pumping that began to milk Finn of his juices. The nozzle was wrapped snuggly around his erection, and it vibrated slightly. But not a single drop of semen was being sucked through the tube. Princess Bubblegum examined it to check for tears or holes in the soft rubber, but it seemed to be intact. The pumping was certainly working because the sound it made was quite loud.

“All this trouble for a little jizz, and you can’t even get a drop,” sighed Marceline. “We could just do it the old fashion way, you know.”

“And how would you suggest we collect the sample with that method?” answered the princess with sarcasm.

Marceline simply puffed out her cheeks in response.

“…no. My machine will work. Just give it time.”

“What’s this dial do?” asked Marceline.

“Don’t touch anything!”

“Too late.”

Marceline turned the dial. The nozzle immediately began to vibrate faster, and the machine’s pumping sounded much more intense. Finn’s penis throbbed and released several bursts off semen, which traveled swiftly through the tube and finally dripped into the machine’s large tank.

“Success!” shouted Princess Bubblegum with glee.

Marceline pressed her face against the clear tank and stared at the less than thrilling puddle of semen at the bottom; it could barely even be called a puddle.

“That’s it?”

“Of course, Marceline. I’m sure you’re more than aware of how much semen a male typically releases per ejaculation.”

“Well yeah but…I assumed you had something else up your sleeve considering the size of this tank.”

“I just wanted to be prepared,” the princess said with a shrug.

“Well that was a letdown… Wanna make out?

“What?! …no!”

“You’re impossible, PB. Even with a hot stud lying naked in front of you with his cock literally throbbing, you still can’t just chill and let loose.”

Princess Bubblegum pretended not to hear her and began to write in her science journal.

“Well, I’m not going to let you bring me down to your level,” Marceline said with confidence while she took her top off and threw it on the ground.

“We’re done here, Marceline. I got what I came for.”

“Like hell we are!” shouted the vampire, who was now bra-less.

The princess continued to ignore her and began to get ready to leave. After shutting down the machine, she carefully pulled the hose off of Finn’s penis and placed it on the floor next to the tank. Finn’s once proud erection was now only a shadow of its former self. It flopped over to one side, and a drop of semen dripped down onto his sheets like a white tear.

“Awwwww. Look, Bonnibel. You made it cry. Not cool. Not cool…”

Princess Bubblegum subtly glanced over at Finn. “Don’t be silly. It’s just a—”

“Poor little guy,” Marceline moaned as she patted Finn’s penis. “All he wants is some love, but all you gave him was the cold hand of science.”

“Please just—” But this time the princess cut herself short.

Marceline had Finn’s entire penis in her mouth.

“No! Bad Marceline!” scolded the princess as she smacked Marceline’s head with one of her gloves.

“Wups your pwoblem?” Marceline said with her mouth full.

“You can’t just go around putting penises in your mouth!”

Marceline gently released Finn from her mouth’s wet embrace and stared at Princess Bubblegum with a scowl. “Are you serious?”

“Of course am I! Penises are private things and shouldn’t be treated like toys.”

“…take a second to think about what you just said. Then I suggest you take a look at that giant penis milker next to you.”

“Totally different!” shouted the princess.

“How?”

“I was merely extracting a sample for scientific purposes with the utmost care.”

“…you literally sucked his cum through a hose, ya freak.”

“Well of course it sounds much worse when you say it like that…” mumbled Bubblegum.

“And I didn’t hear you objecting when I was giving Finn a lap dance with my tongue down his throat.”

“You had your tongue down his throat?!”

Marceline smirked.

“Just leave Finn alone. He’s not a toy…” said Princess Bubblegum.

“You’re right, PB. He’s a test subject,” mocked Marceline.

“You just don’t get it, Marceline!” the princess shrieked as she took off her goggles and threw them at her obnoxious friend. “And put your shirt back on! You’re turning a simple and respectful scientific exercise into something obscene.”

“Tits aren’t obscene, you prude!”

“I’m not a prude…” she mumbled.

“Prove it. Get naked, babe.”

“What? No!”

“I’ve seen you naked before…”

“That’s not the point. I just—”

“Well, I could always just make up some lame lie about wanting to check out your bod again in the name of science or something…”

Princess Bubblegum suddenly ripped all of her clothing off with a few frustrated growls, until she was completely naked. Her pink breasts jiggled as she stomped her foot firmly on the ground and placed her hands on her hips.

“Point taken, PB. Now bend over.”


	7. Getting Smoochy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

Princess Bubblegum immediately reacted to Marceline’s demand by quickly turning around and bending over. Marceline got only a second to see her friend’s pink privates before the hot headed princess sprung back up with a frantic jolt.

“Wait! What am I doing?!” she gasped as she tried to cover herself.

Marceline couldn’t help but laugh. “Come one, Bonnibel,” she said politely. “Just sit down and relax. No one’s here to judge you.”

Bubblegum partially took her advice and sat on the edge of the bed with her arms still covering her exposed body. She avoided making eye contact with Marceline.

“I don’t care if people judge me…” she grumbled.

“Whatever you say, PB,” sighed Marceline as she floated over to her friend and sat beside her.

“It’s just difficult being your friend sometimes because you’re just so…so…”

“Awesome?”

“Stop it, Marceline! I’m being serious… I’m trying to be honest and open up and stuff.”

“Well you could start by putting your arms down,” said Marceline half-jokingly.

Princess Bubblegum sighed as if she were giving up and dropped her arms to her sides, and there they sat: Marceline only wearing jeans and boots, and Princess Bubblegum wearing nothing but her tiara and the tiny hair tie that kept her ponytail up. After a few awkward, yet relaxing moments of silence, Marceline wrapped her arm around the princess and rested her head against hers.

“What are we doing, Marceline?”

“Sitting,” said Marceline as she finally kicked her boots off.

“You’re impossible,” grumbled Bubblegum while still allowing Marceline to keep her arm around her.

“And so are you, sweetheart,” Marceline replied with a chuckle.

“I mean really! What the bleep is this?” shouted the princess with her arms stretched out in front of her.

“Hm?”

“We’re naked in Finn’s—”

“I’m only half naked,” corrected the vampire as she poked her jean clad legs.

“…we’re naked and half naked in Finn’s house, and we’re sitting on his bed with a semen extracting device on the floor!”

“Yeah, we’re a couple of trouble makers,” laughed Marceline.

“But…but…it’s just ridiculous! I don’t need his semen! …and you and I could be enjoying each other’s company in much more tolerable ways like…like…” said Bubblegum as she stood up and started pacing in front of Marceline like a pissed off chicken.

“Like having a jam session?” offered Marceline with a shrug.

“Yes! A jam session! Something nice and normal!” The princess flung her arms around to emphasize her point; her breasts jiggling the moment she said “normal.”

“Well you know I’m down for that any time, but we were pretty excited about our little adventure here, PB. You don’t have to take it so seriously,” said Marceline while her hand patted the spot on the bed where Bubblegum had been sitting. “I think you just need to take a breather, and then you’ll be ready to take another sample.”

“Sample?!” yelled the princess with her arms still flailing around in the air. “I don’t need another sample! I don’t want another sample! I just want to be normal! I want my science to be scientific not…sexitific! I just want to—”

“Kiss me.”

“Fine!”

Princess Bubblegum suddenly diverted all of her frantic energy into kissing Marceline; she leaned in and wrapped her fingers through the vampire’s sexy black hair. Their lips smashed together with the relentless force of Princess Bubblegum’s moodiness. Marceline seized the moment and straddled her. Within moments Marceline had Princess Bubblegum on top of her, and she kept her legs wrapped around her thin waist to keep her from escaping. It was only a matter of time before she came to her senses and started blabbering on about science or something.

Princess Bubblegum finally took a moment to breathe after their kiss had lasted long enough to elicit some drool from her partner, but she still showed no signs of trying to escape.

“Where’d that come from?” asked Marceline in between breaths.

The princess took a few seconds to catch her breath as well then finally answered. “…please don’t tell anyone,” she begged with a squeaky sound of distress in her voice. She collapsed onto her friend and buried her face in her shoulder. Marceline thought she felt a tear or two, but she wasn’t sure if she was in the mood for dealing with that…

“Whoa whoa! It’s cool, Bonni,” she forced herself to say. She didn’t want to be a bitch, but the only thing she cared about at the moment was the naked girl on top of her and not necessarily the naked girl’s problems. “You don’t have to get upset. I’ve kept all of our other secrets so far,” she said with a little more sincerity.

Princess Bubblegum only answered with a couple of muffled sniffles.

“Wow. You’re really embarrassed aren’t you?” said Marceline, who was starting to take her friend a little more seriously. “There’s really nothing to worry about. So you like girls. So what? If you’re that bummed about it, it can just be between you and me…and Finn’s dick of course,” she said as she glanced over to Finn’s penis, which had been literally just a few inches away from their kissy faces the whole time. They had actually been making out on top of Finn’s legs. “After what this little guy’s been through tonight, I have a feeling we won’t hear a peep out of him. Isn’t that right?” 

Marceline pinched the tip of Finn’s penis to make it open and close like mouth answered in a high pitched voice. “Your secret is safe with me, girls!”

“See? Everyone here is on your side,” said the vampire.

“Penises can’t talk…” Princess Bubblegum answered with her face still buried against Marceline’s shoulder.

Marceline laughed and was glad that her friend was getting back to her old self.

“I guess you’re the expert, PB,” Marceline teased to push Bubblegum’s mood in a better direction.

“You’re darn right I am!” she blurted out with sudden confidence.

“Then pop that thing in your mouth and take it for a spin!”

“Bleep yeah! …I mean…no thank you.”

“Why not?” asked Marceline as she casually scratched her armpit.

“Well first of all,” said Bubblegum as she rolled off Marceline and daintily wiped the last of her tears, “penises release urine…. URINE, Marceline! It’s unsanitary, and I don’t want something like that in my mouth. Obviously!”

“I’m not asking you to let Finn piss in your mouth, PB.”

“It’s still dirty and disgusting.”

“What about kissing? People’s mouths are filled with all kinds of crud, and yet you seemed to enjoy sucking on mine.” Marceline made a loud popping sound with wetted lips.

Princess Bubblegum rolled over on her side with her back turned to Marceline.

“You can’t escape that kind of stuff, PB. The world is a dirty place. You just need to chill and deal with it.”

The princess didn’t answer and kept her back turned. Marceline gave her friend’s ponytail a gentle tug with a “boop boop,” but all she got out of Bubblegum was a sigh.

“You okay, Bonnibel?”

“I just don’t like dirty stuff…” she mumbled.

“So I guess anal’s out of the question?”

“What do you think, Marceline? What do you think?” she blurted out while sitting back up and looking down at her friend.

“Well now I’m not sure… You were gettin’ kind of mopey before, but as soon as I started talking about dicks and butt sex you’ve gotten a little excited.”

“Will you be quiet if I kiss you again?”

“So now you’re offering? I could get used to—”

Princess Bubblegum grabbed Marceline’s face and she smashed her lips against her for the second time. The naughty vampire tried to slide her tongue in almost immediately, but the princess would have none of it. She kept her lips together as tightly as she could, and Marceline eventually accepted the limitations. Bubblegum wasn’t the best kisser in the world, so Marceline ended up taking the lead. She began to lean into the kiss and suck on each of the princess’s lips individually as if they were tasty snacks. Her smooth grey arms wrapped themselves around Bubblegum’s frail figure and cradled her, until she was lying on top of her. Marceline’s breasts smothered Bubblegum’s, and their stiff nipples tickled each other. 

Marceline heard what sounded like Princess Bubblegum moaning, but she couldn’t believe her ears. She pulled back from their kiss, and sure enough the princess let out an especially loud moan before she grappled the vampire and pulled her right back in. One of Bubblegum’s hands suddenly found itself draped on Marceline’s waist, and the vampire felt a subtle tug on her jeans. It took three more tugs for her to get the message. She took a quick break to get her pants off. Princess Bubblegum pretended to pay no attention to her friend sliding out of her jeans, but she watched every move out of the corner of her eye. She waited patiently for what was to come next as Marceline finally kicked her jeans off. The vampire leaned back down and took another taste of her friend’s pink lips. She had forgotten to take off her panties, but Bubblegum hadn’t. The princess ripped them off Marceline with one quick tug and threw them on the floor. Soon her hands were gliding along the vampire’s shapely features.

Marceline got a little bold and reached for the sweet spot between her friend’s legs, but Princess Bubblegum reacted with cat-like reflexes and swatted the groping hand away. Marceline rolled her eyes and went for one of her breasts instead, but her hand was quickly reprimanded again.

“Well that’s not very fair, PB.”

“Hm?”

“You get to grope my ass all you want, but I can’t even touch your tits.”

“Well…”

“At least let me touch your ass. It’s only fair.”

“I suppose,” said the princess as she got up from underneath Marceline and stood on her knees.

Marceline smiled and floated behind her on the other side of the bed, and she gently poked Bubblegum between her shoulders. She pressed down on the poised princess’s back, until she was forced to lean forward and rest her arms on the bed. Her cute pink butt was completely exposed and ready for touching. Marceline took each round cheek in her hands and gave them a generous squeeze.

“Best. Ass. Ever.”

“Ok, Marceline. You’ve had your—”

“So smooth…so round…,” continued Marceline. “And so bouncy!” she exclaimed after giving it a good smack.

Princess Bubblegum squeaked and got a little tense. Marceline’s fingers were starting to get a little too bold for her liking, so she tried to crawl away as subtly as she could. Unfortunately, the bed was already rather cramped. After only a couple inches of her pathetic excuse for crawling, her elbows managed to slip. And she took a less than graceful face dive right into Finn’s crotch.


	8. Dude Appreciation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

“Someone’s hungry,” teased Marceline as she noticed Bubblegum’s face dive.

Princess Bubblegum made an annoyed growling sound, sat back up, and brushed herself off as if she had fallen on the ground.

“Awww. That’s it?” groaned Marceline.

“I slipped. Nothing more.”

“Well I think Finn’s little hero has a different take on the situation.”

Finn’s penis was standing straight up, and a single of drop of precum oozed from the tip and down the shaft.

“Wow! What’d you do, PB?”

“Nothing! I just slipped and got right back up.”

Marceline sighed and stared at her friend with disappointment.

“You just don’t make sense… There’s no denying that you like Finn, and I’ve seen you drool over his dick. Just give the poor little guy a blowjob and be done with it. You’re drawing this out way too much, babe.”

“But…”

“But what?!”

“But oral sex serves no biological purpose.”

“First it was germs and now it’s biology,” sighed Marceline. “At least pick just one.”

“They’re both good reasons to be opposed to oral sex.”

“Listen. You need to get passed that stuff. And you just made out with a vampire for crying out loud! How does kissing serve a biological purpose?”

“It doesn’t but…”

“But what?!” Marceline said with annoyance.

“But…it’s something that’s culturally accepted and normal. People kiss all the time. It’s not a big deal. You know, it’s just…cultural and stuff…”

“I can’t even stay mad at you, PB. You’re just too funny.”

“Don’t be doubtin’ my stuff! I’m serious.”

“That’s the funny part. But we both know that you still want Finn’s juicy meat rod. You already know it like the back of your hand from your obsessive examinations, and from what I remember, you loved every inch of it.”

“I just wanted to take a look at it as a scientist, and as a scientist I was very…impressed…with his male reproductive organs. His penis looks very healthy, and his testicles show no signs of damage from the kicks in the groin that I’m sure he’s gotten.”

“It’s time for a song,” said Marceline.

“…what?”

“I’m going to sing a song about cocks, and you’re going to listen.”

Princess Bubblegum crossed her arms and pouted.

“It’s been a while since I played naked in front of someone,” said Marceline as she pulled out her guitar. “Now get comfortable. This is gonna be a looooong one,” she said with a wink.

 

Penis, be good to me.

But don’t give me no baby.

I just want your love.

I just want your love.

 

Penis, I know you’re shy,

But lemme wrap you up real tight.

I just wanna feel you throbbin’.

I just wanna feel you throbbin’.

 

Penis, my world is yours to rock.

Nothin’ better than a big bad cock.

Fill me up with your with love,

Your hot sticky love.

I just want your love.

I just want your love.

 

Let me touch your private place.

I wanna see that look on your face.

You’re my boy.

You’re my man.

I wanna feel that cock in my hand.

 

Penis, squeeze anywhere you like.

My body is all yours tonight.

If you wanna shut me up,

You know where it goes.

Or say the word,

And I’ll strike a pose.

Make me feel your lovin’.

I need to feel you throbbin’.

 

Penis, why you gotta be so coy?

Don’t ya know you’re my toy?

My sweet baby boy.

I just wanna feel you throbbin’.

Throbbin’ til you…

 

Penis! It’s a bumpy road!

Cover me with your load!

I’m gonna…

I’m gonna…

 

Penis!

 

When Marceline finished her song she was sweating and out of breath, and she may have exaggerated it a bit to tease Bubblegum.

“So what’d you think?” she asked.

“Meh. It was okay I guess,” said the princess with a shrug.

“Doesn’t it make you want to get all touchy feely with Finn’s junk instead of just poking at it with a protractor?”

“Not really.”

“You’re so weird, PB. Girls love cock. That’s just the way it is, and you’re in denial. That’s all there is to it. You can’t even keep your excuses straight. We love hot bods and cocks. And since Finn is lacking a little in the hot bod department, it’s only natural to go for his cock,” Marceline said as she pointed at the sturdy erection.

“What’s wrong with his bod?” asked Princess Bubblegum as she suddenly yanked Finn from his sleepy spot and cradled him in her arms.

“Nothing,” answered Marceline holding back a chuckle at the sight of the princess’s motherly behavior towards Finn. “I love it. It’s just…not the best I’ve seen, ya know?”

“Don’t be so shallow, Marceline,” shouted the princess as she held Finn closer. “He’s a beautiful young man with plenty of time to become the hunkiest hunk in all of Ooo!” 

As she said this, Princess Bubblegum took Finn’s penis in her fist and began pumping furiously as she scolded Marceline. Marceline’s eyes slowly looked down at the shocking display, but the princess kept her fiery eyes focused on Marceline the whole time as if she were pretending not to notice what her own hand was doing.

“And another thing,” she continued, still with her hand rapidly stroking Finn’s erection. “I don’t have to prove anything to you, honey! I can be as wild as you, and you know it. So stop pressuring me to touch Finn! I can do it whenever I want!”

The hot tempered princess went on like this for at least a minute, and her groping hand didn’t skip a beat. Marceline stared in shock and tried not to say or do anything to snap Princess Bubblegum out of the moment. Her eyes just darted back and forth between her blabbering mouth and her fap-happy fist.

“Finn is special, Marceline! I think you’re just jealous that you’ve never learned to appreciate him like I have—”

And with that, Finn came. It wasn’t the explosion that both girls had secretly hoped for, but the princess was still in awe of it. None of it shot out and hit her face, chest, or anything. It just shot up and back down into her hand, and it oozed between her fingers. But it was special. It wasn’t the result of an experiment. It was like a little sticky present just for her.

“It’s so warm…”

She looked over to Finn to see if he had woken up, but as she expected, the sleep potion’s effect was still going strong. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and glanced over at Marceline. The vampire was drooling and had her hand between her legs.


	9. Boy Toy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

“Wow,” said Marceline as she tickled her chick package. “Now that you’ve opened up, I can take this out.”

She bent over and grabbed a strap-on that she had hidden underneath her discarded jeans. It was completely black, and the tip was covered with little nubs.

“Now bend him over and let’s get his show on the road!” said the vampire as she casually put it on and flipped a switch. The long black shaft started to vibrate.

“What the blah?!” shrieked the princess. “No! I’m not letting you violate Finn with that thing.”

“You got to violate him with your cum sucking machine, and you just gave him a pretty intense handjob.”

“That was different—

“Here we go…”

“That was different,” she continued. “My device is perfectly safe, and I designed it specifically for Finn. And I’d hardly call stimulating him with my hand “violating” him. I

was…just expressing my affection for him.”

Princess Bubblegum rubbed her cheek against Finn’s and cradled his dangly parts.

“Well this is perfectly safe too,” said Marceline as she stroked her toy.

“But it’s enormous and…weird! Look at it! It’s all vibraty and junk. Finn’s fragile opening wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

The princess held Finn closer as if to shield him from the threatening vibrator.

“How do you know his booty couldn’t handle it?” asked Marceline. “For all we know, Finn could be into guys and gets it pounded every night by dicks of all shapes and sizes.”

“I don’t think so. It doesn’t look like—“

“Don’t tell me you actually checked… I guess you are just as wild as me, PB. What else have you done while I wasn’t looking?”

“That was just part of my thorough examination,” answered the princess as she pretended to check Finn’s teeth for cavities.

“Perv.”

“You just keep throwing those words around, Marceline.”

“Because they’re all true. You’re a perverted little hypocrite. Make up your mind, babe. Are you the kind of girl that loves science and all that crap, or are you a red blooded woman on the prowl for a tasty boy toy?”

“Finn’s not a toy!”

“Then why don’t you quit hiding behind your magical sleep potion, wake him up, and ask him how he feels about you collecting his jizz and giving him a wicked awesome handjob that he’ll never remember.”

Princess Bubblegum looked down at the boy in her arms with a hint of guilt on her face, and she put him back on his bed where he belonged with a sigh.

“Don’t get all mopey now, PB,” said Marceline as she floated over to her friend and kissed her on the cheek teasingly.

She reached for her tasty looking pink breasts, but Bubblegum quickly crossed her arms to cover them up.

“Ya know,” said Marceline. “Just kissing is getting a little boring, PB. Not gonna lie.”

“What’s wrong with kissing?”

“Nothing. It’s just…maybe you’re not as fun and wild as I thought.”

“I’m fun!”

Suddenly, the princess grabbed her own breasts and jiggled them awkwardly.

“See. Fun!”

“I’m not feeling it, PB, but I appreciate the effort.”

Just as Marceline leaned in to kiss Princess Bubblegum, Jake walked in.

“Oh my glob! Naked girls in my room!”

The two friends looked over at him; Princess Bubblegum looked like she was about to faint.

“PB and Marceline? W-w-why are you naked?”

Before Princess Bubblegum could freak out, Marceline reacted. She quickly covered Finn’s naked body with blankets and floated over to Jake.

“We’re not really naked, Jake. This is just a dream. Oooooooooooo. See I’m floating…because it’s a dream.”

“But you always float,” said Jake.

“Uh…no I don’t.”

“Hmmm. Something smells fishy about this…but I’m not in the mood for arguing with a dream like this. Hi, Dream Bubblegum!” he said as he looked over to her and waved. “You look pretty cute naked, but don’t you pop out of my dream and tell Lady that I said that.”

The princess blushed and avoided eye contact, while she let Marceline do all the talking.

“And you’ve got a nice pair of chest balloons, Dream Marceline,” Jake continued with a wink.

“Yeah thanks,” said Marceline as she quickly knocked Jake on the head.

The poor dog fell to the ground.

“You killed him!” shrieked the princess.

“Nah, I just knocked him out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Trust me. I’ve been knocked people out since before you were born, PB. Now let’s get out of here before he wakes up!”

The vampire grabbed her clothes, slung them over her shoulder, and dashed out the window.

“Wait for me!” said Princess Bubblegum as she fumbled with her own clothes and threw her device out the window.


	10. So Far From Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

“Please don’t get drunk on me, PB,” said the vampire queen. “The last thing I need right now is having to save you from a gang rape.”

“Please, Marceline. I don’t drink alcohol. Do you know what that stuff does to you?”

“I’m sure you could spend the next half hour telling me, but I’m not in the mood for that either.”

After their little adventure at Finn and Jake’s house, the two friends had wandered all over Ooo for several weeks. Princess Bubblegum cast off her royal duties and seemed to be fully embracing every aspect of her new life, but Marceline was actually starting to get annoyed with the bubbly princess. Her unexpected enthusiasm was taking its toll on the Vampire Queen, and she was thinking of ditching Princess Bubblegum altogether. 

Each morning Marceline hoped the princess would wake up crying and begging to go back home, but she remained painfully pleasant and ready for new experiences. There seemed to be no turning back. She still loved her little PB, but enough was enough. And it was only a matter of time before something went wrong.

Now they found themselves at a random party they weren’t invited to. It was some sort of beach party, and there were all sorts of party guests.

“Don’t be so grumpy,” said the princess with a playfully scolding look on her face. “You’re the one that brought us here. Let’s have some fun! Fun with…friends! Yes! Lots of new friends!”

“It’s just…there’re a lot of crafty looking dudes here, Bonnibel,” said Marceline with painfully obvious worry in her voice.

“Aww! You’re worried about me.”

“What?” screeched the vampire with sudden annoyance. “No way! I’m just getting sick of babysitting your fruity behind all over Ooo. This kind of party would be fun by myself, but with you—”

“This party looks quite civil to me. You’re just grumpy, you patoot.”

Marceline stared at her and casually wiped her nose.

“I’m not grumpy,” she groaned. “And by the way, I think you’re being a little too…happy,” she shouted with her hands in the air. “You’re taking this whole running away thing a little too well. I don’t want your head to explode when your prissy princess problems catch up with you.”

Princess Bubblegum leaned in toward Marceline and grabbed her cheeks.

“Grumpy grumpy doesn’t want to party,” she giggled.

“Ugh! Fine! Enjoy your stupid party. I need a break from all your pink…”

Marceline floated away in a moody cloud of angst, and Princess Bubblegum was left by herself. She crossed her arms and pouted.

“Nice threads, babe,” said a random party guest as he walked by.

“Thank you,” replied Bubblegum as her cheerful attitude returned.

She looked down to admire the outfit she had picked out. A two piece swimsuit certainly wasn’t the most modest thing in the world, but she was feeling adventurous. She daintily adjusted her top when she noticed a tiny hint of cleavage.

The princess spent a quite a long time at the party without running into any of the supposed troubles that Marceline was worried about. After dancing next to a group of pigs standing on each other’s shoulders, Bubblegum decided to find something to drink.

“I’ll see you guys later, kay?”

The pigs winked at her as she walked away; her round cheeks gave them a good show as they swayed back and forth in her tight pink and white striped swimsuit.

“One beverage please,” she said to the guy passing out drinks.

“What’ll ya have?”

“Something fun! …with oranges! Oodles of oranges!” The princess smacked her hands together to emphasize her enthusiasm.

“Splendid! So you enjoy fun?”

“Well of course! This is a party afterall.” answered the princess with a sweet smile and her hands on her hips.

“Indeed it is, young lady. Now do be careful. This beverage is quite a doozy. May I see some identification to verify you are old enough for such a drink?”

“What?”

“Oh I’m merely joking. Here you go,” said the fat little bartender as he handed her the drink.

“This…this isn’t alcohol is it?” said Princess Bubblegum as she examined the orange liquid.

“Yes. I thought that’s what you wanted. I could prepare something just as fun without alcohol if you’d like.”

“Well…” the princess hesitated. “That won’t be necessary. It would be rude to make you go through so much trouble. Besides…just one drink will only add to the fun.”

Five minutes later…

“Who wants to dance with a flippin’ real princess?!”

Princess Bubblegum was completely drunk and was walking (or trying to…) around the party looking for potential dance partners, but even the pigs she’d been dancing with were a little freaked out by her behavior. It turned out that the party wasn’t as wild as it seemed, and Princess Bubblegum was actually quite out of place now that she was out of control.

“I got a crown…a CROWN!”

“It looks like more like a tiara to me,” shouted a random party guest from the crowd.

“Who said that?” said the princess. “Clearly you don’t know anything about anything, ya dumb butt.”

Princess Bubblegum tripped and caught herself by grabbing onto a nearby minotaur’s legs.

“Whoops! How silly of me. Well since I’m down here anyway…” said the princess.

She looked up at the minotaur with a wink and a goofy smile on her face before her hand slipped underneath his loincloth. The minotaur let out a quiet squeak, and his eyes grew wide. 

“I think you need to hide this thing better. Anyone could…” Princess Bubblegum started to giggle uncontrollably. “…just reach down here and grab it.”

“Um, little lady…” said the minotaur with a quiver in his voice. “I don’t think you should be doing that here.”

Princess Bubblegum stood back up with her wobbly legs barely supporting her, and she leaned up against the minotaur’s muscular chest. Her cheek was smashed against his rock hard pecs, and her drunken speech came out even goofier than before.

“Lighten up,” she said as she gave his balls a playful grope. “It’s a party, ya big…large…massive…” her words began to trail off, and a glob of drool dripped down her bottom lip. “…huge…enormous…” her hand continued to explore between the minotaur’s legs while her other hand was pressed against his abs. “…large...uh…big…party pooper, you!”

The minotaur ignored the drunk princess and looks around to see if anyone noticed what was happening. He closed his eyes and sighed when he didn’t see anyone looking over at them. The rest of the party guests must have given up on paying attention to her.

“Yeah…” continued the Bubblegum. “That’s what you are…a big ol’ party pooper!”

“I really need to get back to the…uh…BATHROOM!” said the minotaur with sudden excitement from his sneaky excuse to escape.

“Ooh! Can I watch?” begged Princess Bubblegum with her own sudden burst of excitement.

“What?!”

“You gotta pee, right? That like…involves penises and stuff. I’m totally into that. I’m a scientist, you know.”

The minotaur looked down at the princess with a mixed look of confusion and disgust, and he quickly dashed through the crowed as stealthily as he could. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself, but it was hard not to with a drunk princess holding onto his ankle and giggly uncontrolably as he made his way to the bathroom.


	11. Friendly Assistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

Bubblegum casually took her top off and tossed it on the ground behind her.

“Oops,” she said over dramatically. “Let me get that.”

She turned around and bent over extremely slowly to give the minotaur a perfect view. Her wonderful butt stuck out towards him, and the lovely shape of her lips could be seen as her tight swimsuit hugged her body.

The frantic minotaur ran along the beach until he reached the host’s super cool beach house. There were a few guests chilling inside, but he sprinted right past them to get to the bathroom. When he found it, he started knocking on the door over and over. While he was waiting for an answer, he looked down at Princess Bubblegum and tried to be stern with her.

“Now, miss… I’m going to use the restroom, and I would appreciate some privacy. I promise I’ll come out soon, and then we can do…whatever it is you’re so excited about doing… Deal?”

He faked a smile and stopped knocking, but the drunk princess wasn’t amused.

“Nice try, buster,” she said with a few wags of her finger. “But I’m *hiccup* gonna see some penis now. Now!”

The minotaur gulped and went back to knocking; this time much harder. And he finally got an answer.

“I’m in the middle of something,” said the guest in the bathroom.

“Well can you hurry up please?” said the minotaur. “ I really need to get in there.”

“Are you a fan of pooh?”

“No but—”

“Then I don’t think you want to come in here! Use the upstairs bathroom!”

“There’s an upstairs bathroom?”

But the only response the minotaur got was a loud groan.

The minotaur ran down the hallway until he found the stairs leading up to the second level of the beach house. When he found the bathroom, he didn’t even bother knocking. Luckily for him there was no one inside. He quickly locked the door and leaned up against it. After a he caught his breath his slowly slid down to the floor with a thud. Suddenly he was reminded that the princess was still holding onto his leg; as if he could have forgotten.

She stared back at him and awkwardly puckered her lips and batted her eyelashes.

“So um…” the minotaur mumbled. “Here we are. I guess I’ll just…use the toilet now. Because I have to…use the toilet. That’s why we’re here. Yeah.”

“Then what are you waiting for, handsome?”

The minotaur stood up and shuffled his hooves over to the toilet while dragging Bubblegum across the floor. He lowered his head and sighed, but the princess poked his ankle to get him started.

“If I do this,” he finally said. “Will you please leave me alone? I just want to enjoy the rest of the party and hang out and do minotaur stuff, ya know?”

“But why would I leave you alone, honey buns?” said the princess as she rubbed her cheek against his thigh. “You’re my boyfriend, and boyfriends spend quality time with their *hiccup* girlfriends.” She stood up and clutched his muscular arm. “I already have a list of all the fun science we’re going to do together.”

Princess Bubblegum pulled a crumpled up piece of paper out of her bikini top and smoothed it out. She held it up to the minotaur and showed it to him. It wasn’t really a list; it was just a drawing of Princess Bubblegum and the minotaur in lab coats holding test tubes with poorly drawn hearts all around them. When she had the opportunity to draw this was a complete mystery.

The minotaur’s face relaxed, and he almost smiled when he saw the drawing.

“Well,” he said hesitantly. “I guess you can watch me go to the bathroom if it means that much to you…”

“Oh it does, boyfriend! It does!” said Bubblegum as she stuffed the paper back into her top.

The minotaur closed his eyes and pulled his loincloth down to the floor. His perfectly sculpted body looked even better without that pesky thing covering up his special areas. Princess Bubblegum raised her hands in the air and cheered.

“Whooooo! Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” she said as she stepped behind him to check out his ass. After almost losing her balance, she grabbed the dark brown cheeks in each hand and gave them a big squeeze. “Best. Ass. Ever.”

The minotaur rubbed the back of his neck and opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted.

“Want me to help you aim, boyfriend?”

Bubblegum’s hands found their way to the minotaur’s penis. It was a slightly darker shade of brown than the rest of his body, and it had an exotic flat head. Even though it was soft at the moment, it was incredibly thick. The princess’s delicate hands fumbled between his legs until she finally grasped the veiny phallus with both hands. She pointed it at the toilet bowl and closed one eye to assist with her aiming, but she was having a hard time keeping it straight no matter what she did.

“Fire away!” she cheered.

The minotaur kept his hands out at his sides as if he didn’t know where to put them. This drunk little “friend” of his was getting bolder and stranger by the second.

“Um…alright,” he said. “I’ll try.”

Nothing happened for a full minute, and Princess Bubblegum was getting impatient.

“If you have to pee, you should really get on with it. I don’t want you getting it all over the place when we’re doing science. You’ll contamibamanate *hiccup* the…stuff.”

She gave his shy penis a few encouraging tugs, and something finally happened. But it certainly wasn’t pee. The droopy organ started to throb and stiffen. Princess Bubblegum held on tight as it expanded in her hands. It got longer and longer and showed no signs of stopping. What started out as a soft spongy hunk of flesh was now a hard rod that stuck out at least two feet from between his legs.

“How do you hide this thing when you get hard in public?” giggled the princess as she went back to trying to aim her new friend’s penis, but the radically different size made it much more difficult.


	12. Too Big!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to go to the bathroom like this…” said the minotaur. He was blushing and sweating uncontrollably, and his hard body was twitching and quivering with a strange mixture of excitement and nervousness.

His ridiculously large erection wouldn’t point down towards the toilet no matter what. Princess Bubblegum tried her best to aim it, but it was just too flippin’ long. After yet another attempt, she lost her grip; it sprung up and ended up resting up on top of the back of the toilet while pointing up towards the wall.

“I think you need to take a few steps back,” said the princess with a slightly less drunk sound to her voice.

“There’s no room—” Before the minotaur could finish, he fell backwards and immediately hit the wall. Luckily the princess had already stepped to the side while she had been messing with his frustrating penis.

The minotaur was now sitting up against the wall with his erection sticking straight up.

“My poor *hiccup* boyfriend!” gasped the princess.

She crawled to the spot between him and the toilet and plopped herself down; she leaned up against its cool smooth surface and smiled at the minotaur.

“You’re just too big,” she laughed as she stretched out her legs and rubbed her feet up and down the base of his shaft as carefully as she could.

“Careful…” muttered the minotaur as she got dangerously close to his massive testicles.

PB pulled her legs back and peeped at her friend’s goods to see if she had caused any damage, as if it would be visible.

“No harm done,” she said. “But wow! You’ve got some impressive testi…tesi…tesbi…balls!”

She switched positions and got on her stomach to get a closer look. The minotaur looked away in embarrassment as the pervy little princess casually examined his large sac. She rested her chin on her hands, and she swung her legs and back forth in the air.

“You could make sooooo many babies with those,” she added. “And you could make a lot of messes too.”

“Uh…” groaned the minotaur with his anxiety building up inside him.

“Semen sure is sticky. Did you know that? It’s warm too. So warm…” As she said this, she laid her head down and closed her eyes. The minotaur looked down at her and immediately assumed she was asleep. Taking advantage of the only chance to escape he’d had so far, he stood up. But before he even took one step, Princess Bubblegum rolled over and looked straight up at him. She had a perfect view of his cock sticking straight out and his balls dangling between his muscular legs.

“Well well well,” she said with a goofy smile on her face. “This is quite a view.”

The minotaur sighed when he accepted that he wasn’t going to get away. PB reached up and rubbed the inside of his thigh.

“Let’s play a game,” said PB as she tried to hold back a laugh.

“Uh…”

“And everyone knows what a game needs… BALLS!” the princess opened her mouth as wide as she could and attempted to talk. “Cah ahn! Lahl yah alls iu i ow.”

“…what?”

Princess Bubblegum closed her mouth to speak normally. “I said “Come on! Lower your balls into my mouth!”’

If it were possible, the minotaur’s cheeks had gotten even redder after hearing her request.

“How rude… I forgot to say please,” she added. “Please!”

“Uh…how is that a game?” asked the minotaur in an attempt to stall.

“I forgot the best part!” gasped PB. “You have to pretend that you’re in a scaaaaaaary dungeon *hiccup* it’s a make believe game.”

“Ok…”

“And you have to pretend you’re a brave knight that just rescued a beautiful and intelligent princess. That’s me! ‘Cept I don’t have to pretend…because I’m already a princess!” She giggled and rolled back and forth on the floor for almost a full minute.

“So…”

“So,” continued PB. “You just rescued me, and the ceiling is coming down on us to squish us! Hold up your arms like you’re trying to brace yourself against the ceiling. Hurry!”

The minotaur did as he was told and did a pretty good job of acting out the scene. He seemed to actually be taking this little game seriously; Princess Bubblegum’s drunk ramblings made a surprisingly enthralling game of pretend. At least for the moment. The minotaur grunted and groaned as if the ceiling was really pushing down on him, and it was only a matter of time before his dangling privates were gently lowered towards PB’s eager face.

She opened her mouth again to take in her prize, while the minotaur was too busying having fun with her silly game to remember what was really going on. It didn’t take long for the smooth sac to cover her entire mouth and most of her face. The princess’s eyes grew wide after she gave up trying to suck on the massive balls and realized that she could barely breathe. She flailed her arms around and started pushing up on the minotaur’s heavy body.

Her lumbering friend took a few seconds to notice her feeble attempts to free herself. He got up off of her poor smothered face and let her recover. Princess Bubblegum coughed and gasped for air as she sat up next to the embarrassed minotaur.

“You’re too big, boyfriend,” she said as if she were scolding him. “Too big!”

She wiped a bit of drool from her lower lip then crossed her arms in frustration. The minotaur was on the floor beside her with his enormous erection still at the center of attention. Princess Bubblegum looked over at it and sighed, but the minotaur couldn’t bring himself to look at her. While he was avoiding eye contact and blushing more obviously than ever, PB took off her bikini top and carefully tied it around the center of the minotaur’s stiff shaft. Her hands were a little shaky, but after a few tries she managed to keep the cute pink top in a snug position.

“What am I going to do with you, boyfriend?” she sighed. “You’re just too big…”


	13. Touching the Untouched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time, and I do not make profit off the characters or settings I use in this story.

Princess Bubblegum pressed her hand up against the minotaur’s decorated penis. She moved her hand up and down a bit, but that was as far as her enthusiasm went. Her eyes were glued to the floor as if it were suddenly more interesting than the naked stud next to her.

The minotaur’s eyes darted back and forth. He couldn’t tell whether or not the games had ended, or if the crazy princess had simply given up. His penis was just as antsy. The long dark shaft looked cute in the princess’s bikini top, and it twitched as if it were begging for this ordeal to finally end. Bubblegum’s hand taunted it with its gentle rubbing.

“I—” said the minotaur with his eyes clenched shut.

He came. His hose of a penis let out everything his massive minotaur balls had in them. It got everywhere. The initial burst hit the ceiling, while the next twelve bursts coated his muscular body. Three weaker squirts finished off his orgasm, and Princess Bubblegum was caught in their sticky path.

She took her hand off the minotaur’s penis. A glob of semen dripped down her face and landed on her chest. It made the pink princess look like a desert with too much frosting. Even with the mess covering her, she kept her eyes on the floor.

“Sticky,” she sighed.

The minotaur breathed heavily. His enormous pecks heaved up and down. They were covered with a mix of sweat and cum. After only a few short seconds, his penis shrunk down almost instantly. It flopped onto the bathroom floor in a sticky puddle. Princess Bubblegum’s bikini top just barely stayed draped around the base of the shaft. Neither Bubblegum nor the minotaur seemed to have any idea what to do next.

“Where is she?” screamed a voice outside the door.

The door burst open. Marceline stood in shock. Bubblegum looked up and saw her friend but immediately looked away in embarrassment. Her hand fumbled around on the floor for her drink, but she hadn’t brought it with her. Drinking couldn’t cover this mess up anyway.

“What did you do?” Marceline shrieked.

Bubblegum held back a tear and clenched her eyes shut. Marceline flew straight towards the minotaur, who looked completely dumbfounded, and she slammed her fist into his jaw. Marceline’s fangs stuck out from her expanding mouth, and her eyes burned with pure hatred.

“You raped my girlfriend, you sick fuck!”

She growled and turned into a huge bat. The room crumbled around her as she lifted the minotaur in her threatening claws. The minotaur trembled like a helpless puppy and opened his mouth to explain, but all he could do was gasp for air. Marceline’s grip was choking the air out of him.

“Wait!” said Princess Bubblegum.

Marceline turned around and glared down at the princess. The giant vampire bat snorted through her huge nostrils.

“Put him down,” said PB as she tried to stand up. “I’m the one to blame.”

Marceline slowly shrunk down to her normal size. Once the minotaur made it safely back down, he ran out the bathroom door, with his exposed cock dragging on the floor, and joined the rest of the party guests fleeing from Marceline’s hideous transformation. Marceline ignored him and walked over to Bubblegum.

“What the hell happened?” said Marceline. Her face looked concerned, but her voice made every word sound as if she were scolding the princess.

Princess Bubblegum finally managed to stand up. She kept herself steady by putting her hand on the bathroom sink. She looked her friend straight in the eyes. “I…” But she quickly looked back towards the floor in embarrassment. “I was drunk.”

Marceline crossed her arms and waited for the rest.

“I was drunk,” continued PB. “And I saw that minotaur and… I just wanted his bod so bad. I made a fool of myself trying to get all sassy with him. He barely even touched me. And the worst part is… I don’t think he even liked me at all…”

Marceline mumbled something under her breath and picked up the princess. She floated away and didn’t even bother to grab her bikini top. Princess Bubblegum wrapped her arms around Marceline and gave up trying to make any excuses for what had happened.

Marceline flew away from the remnants of the crazy party she’d crashed. She took Princess Bubblegum to a secluded area and placed her on the grass. Bubblegum sighed. Marceline’s hand crept up to her friend’s cheek to wipe off the sticky mess. Bubblegum looked away. Marceline tried to smile, but it just turned into a subtle twitch in her cheek. She noticed Bubblegum’s tiara and removed it for her, placing it on the grass beside her. Even the princess’s royal headwear hadn’t escaped the mess. Bubblegum still wouldn’t look up. Marceline brushed a bit of bubblegum hair away from her friend’s face. The poor girl was still covered with minotaur juices.

“I swear he—” said Bubblegum.

“Shut up,” Marceline mumbled, sounding much meaner than she meant to.

Princess Bubblegum’s lip quivered.

“Come on,” said Marceline. “Let’s get this crap off.”

Marceline picked PB up and floated over to a nearby lake. She lowered her into the shallow water and let her stand up on her own. The water came up to Bubblegum’s knees. Marceline flung her cowboy boots onto the grass and rolled up her jeans. She got into the water and stood next to the princess. Marceline cupped her hands and dipped them into the water. She raised them over Bubblegum’s head and let the water do its work. 

“That’s not going to be enough,” whispered the princess.

“You’re right.”

Bubblegum’s arms were wrapped around her bare chest. Marceline ignored her friend’s embarrassment and lowered herself to Bubblegum’s waist. She took the princess’s bikini bottom between her fingers and slid the pink garment over PB’s perfectly round butt.

“Marceline…” said Bubblegum with faked annoyance.

The vampire kissed one of PB’s plump cheeks and slid the bikini all the way down her legs. Princess Bubblegum closed her eyes and held back an onslaught of tears.

“I’m such a butt,” she said.

Marceline smiled at her choice of words and gave the princess’s butt another kiss. She hated the idea of that minotaur getting his hands on something so perfect. It was so round and inviting. Marceline wanted to lay her head on it and use it as a pillow. She took her thumbs and spread the heart-shaped cheeks apart to get a peak at PB’s tight little privates.

“Marceline?” the princess squeaked with a sudden alertness and genuine shock. She bit her lip and turned around to keep an eye on the horny vampire. “Aren’t you angry with me?”

Marceline looked up at Bubblegum with a smirk. “Angry?” She laughed and turned her attention back to her friend’s ass.

“Well, I’m all dirty and junk… Aren’t you going to at least finish cleaning me first?”

“But you’re already so clean, hun.”

Marceline’s long tongue dove into the princess’s little pink hole. Before PB could even say anything, Marcelin’s fingers found their way into PB’s bubble-vag. The princess’s back arched and her mouth opened in a silent O-face. Marceline’s lips latched onto Bubblegum’s ass and her tongue continued to probe the depths of her gummy insides. 

Marceline only had room to fit two fingers into her friend. She was tight. Princess Bubblegum still had the untouched tightness she’d always had. There was no way a minotaur’s cock had gone anywhere near her precious womanhood or her delectable booty. Marceline’s probing was her way of showing she cared. She was so relieved to find her little beauty untouched. She savored Bubblegum’s taste and the unforgettable feeling of her squeezing around her fingers.

Princess Bubblegum moaned Marceline’s name as she lazily tried to push the vampire’s frisky hand away. But Marceline kept her hand snug between PB’s tasty thighs, and no amount of half-assed shooing would get Marceline’s fingers out of that wet little slit of hers.

“Marceline…” said PB, in between moans. “What if…someone…sees us?”

“Don’t worry, baby,” said a random fish poking its head out of the lake. “I won’t tell a soul.”

“Marceline! There’s pervy old fish watching us!”

“Mhm…” said Marceline with her face still buried between PB’s cheeks. She was in heaven.

Princess Bubblegum looked over at the fish and waved her hand at it. 

“Shoo,” she whispered. “We’re havin’ a moment here.”

The fish ducked its head back underwater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been two years since I wrote a new chapter for this story. I'm honestly not sure if I will ever write more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please leave. ^_^


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